Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
