Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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