I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
