You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My first STD was from a foam party
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
