Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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