You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
