remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You dont lie about slip and slides
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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