Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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