brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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