Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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