we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
