Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
