ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
