i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
