Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
