I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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