You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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