Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
