Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
