It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
