Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think my moral compass just broke
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