Do you still have your period?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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