I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
