I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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