His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
