He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
