just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
