it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
