When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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