she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
where am i from again
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
