He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i came on her dog
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
