Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
