on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
