so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
