i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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