Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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