i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
