Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
