i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
