I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
