Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If i come over, it means nothing
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize