Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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