clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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