his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
