Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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