Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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