I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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