I can tuck mytits in my pants
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
