He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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