he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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