So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize