Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Enjoy the penises
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
