Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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