Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
