I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize