Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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