i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
