Non-Jews are for practice
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
