it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize